Fieldnotes

The Sound of the Washing Machine in the Background

06 Dec 2025

It is a Saturday evening. I just returned from work. I have work tomorrow, but I decided to watch a Korean movie because there is a bottle of soju in my fridge. I ordered bulgogi, kimchi, and sticky rice.

I set up my laptop and called a friend for movie suggestions. She offered a few, and I chose 20th Century Girl. I can hear the washing machine in the background cleaning my bed sheets, pillow covers, and my summer curtains. I am waiting for the food to arrive and for the movie to load.

As I wait I wonder: would I be able to do all of this if I were married or living with someone? If I were sharing my home, I would probably consult the other person, ask whether they wanted to watch the same movie or if I would be watching alone. Maybe they would be in another room watching something else. Nothing wrong with that; it would be like having a flatmate.

I have spent so much of my life living in shared spaces. First in dorms while in school, then in hostel rooms while in college. I promised myself that I will never put myself back in such a space again. I do not want a flatmate. But if you have a partner, that partner is in some sense a flatmate too. Is it fair to expect them to sit and watch a movie with you just because you want company?

Anyway, all this Korean-ness began because I just finished reading Pachinko by Min Jin Lee. It is a historical fiction that tells the story of five generations of a Korean family that immigrates to Japan. It reflects on the Japanese occupation of Korea, the impact of World War 2 on these countries, the US bombing Japan, the sexual slavery of women by the Japanese army, organized crime syndicates in Japan, and the lives of Koreans in Japan and US, the culture of food. Our school textbooks focused on Europe and America but barely touched on the histories of neighbouring Asian countries and so I found my myself reading Wikipedia pages about these topics after finishing Pachinko.

bulgogi, kimchi, and sticky rice with 20th century girl playing in the background — bulgogi, kimchi, and sticky rice

Somewhere in the middle of the movie, Naru knocked over the soju bottle. Luckily I did not lose much, just a small spill on the carpet, which means I will have to wash it at some point in the next week, hopefully before Christmas.

bottle of soju with 20th century girl playing in the background — I disagree with the school kids, I think soju tastes good, not bitter at all. I prefer the unflavored version.

The movie reminded me of something I did during college. There was a woman from the Biology department who found one of the newly joined PhD students in Physics really attractive. She asked whether I could set her up with him. So, to help my friend, I started talking to this newly joined, attractive PhD student. He was attractive and a nice person and that was about it. There was absolutely nothing interesting about him. By the time I reached a point where I could tell him, “Hey, there is a friend of mine you should talk to, maybe go out with,” my friend had already lost interest. She found someone else attractive and and was talking to them instead. Now it would have been rude of me to suddenly stop talking to this guy, especially since the only reason I approached him was to set him up with my friend. This person was absolutely boring. He kept track of whatever happened on Splitsvilla and Bigg Boss and would bring those up as conversation topics. That was not at all interesting. It was actually sad. I cannot remember how we stopped talking.

20th century girl playing on the laptop beside Naru the cat — Naru

I like the ending of the movie Mayaanadhi, and 20th Century Girl is so similar. There is something about that resemblance that I enjoy. I think I am very much drawn to unrequited love - the theme of it. I would hate to experience it in real life, but I like it in art and cinema. I feel cheated when I expect it in a movie and do not get it. Onir’s semi-autobiographical film Pine Cone did that. I expected and even hoped that the protogonist would not ‘move on’, that he would wait for his childhood crush. Will I be alright with it if a friend behaves that way? Hell no. I will probably jolt them into reality and practicality and other -litys.

I watched the movie on my schoolmate Estarth’s Netflix account. He said that, “to be starred in your article…all have aspired to in my life”.

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